Incapacitation

Responsibilities.

Totally incapacitates me.

The fear of making mistakes.

The reliance on my seniors.

Avoidance of making decisions.

Rejection of being critised and wronged.

Turning my functions into a robotics state.

Doing only what i'm told, what i know to do.

doing things that doesn't require my brain, doesn't require decision making.

Things that i won't make a mistake in.

the Frustration.

And when do i realise it?

When I am faced with the demanding relative who wants everything done for their mother.

and when i am faced with the speedy senior who disappears after rounds and the absence of my immediate senior.

and when i am incapacitated by my fear and by my dependence on others who are more senior than me.