Impotence
One of those days where nothing seems right.
I forget to put patient X on the radiology list.
I was in theatre all day and thought my offsider would handle everything. She was aware of the Xray meeting list. But she forgot too.
i feel responsible.
I feel irritated. I hardly forgot things like this in my previous run.
I feel guilty. Like a schoolboy caught without his textbook at science class.
I feel angry. That my offsider forgot abt it since she was supposed to be in charge of the wards.
I had time in btwn surgery to sort this out. I even managed to catch some lunch too.
This situation annoys me. Working with other pple - it means that i have to depend on them to a certain amount. To do things. And them on me too. I've been used to working alone i guess. Working alone means that i can organise what i do and do things my way. And i know what i'm up to and won't get confused.
Working with others mean that i have to check up on what they are up to. Cos. When things are not done, i'm still responsible for them when asked. Argh.
Communication.
1.
Patient came to ward from whangarei. Who? what? apparently my reg has accepted. When? oh yesterday? he never told me! ...
2.
"Oh, Mr X needs 2 units of blood postop. Go organise..."
so i rushed upstairs to recovery area. Talked to the nurse. checked the computer. Hb 111. Why still need transfuse? Nurse says my regs just came and said not to transfuse. What?! Called them.
"Oh yea, we've decided not to transfuse..."
Thanks for telling me!?!?!
3.
"Mr X needs to be admitted"
"what? who? from where?"
"he came from clinic"
"why?!?!?"
"no idea".
repeat 3X same afternoon.
This is 3pm in the afternoon...
some warning could have been good???
4.
"Go organise MRA for Mr X"
"sure"
walks away to radiology.
Got there, waited in line to be spit on by radiologist.
cellphone rings.
"Mr X has blah and we don't want a MRA anymore. Come back to ward."
"oh ok..."
Walks back to ward thinking...wat a waste of time.
Got back to the ward...
"We just spoke to the boss and he wants the MRA"
what the fuck.........
5.
"Go organise a venogram for Ms X. Tell them she came in with blah, and she has blah, and she will need a venogram, as discussed at conference."
"ok...."
Walked to radiology. Got grilled cos they want to do USS first instead of venogram. Got pissed on cos they want to know what we intend to do with the results, e.g. are we going need intervention radiology.
Call back the reg. So apparently they are gona do surgery. OH. now you tell me. And make it out like its my fault that i don't know, and that i can't explain it well to the radiologists.
What the fuck? I haven't even seen the patient. Never even saw their notes. I'm supposed to know this!?
6.
"Go get investigation X urgently. I want it done this morning"
"sure..."
pleading with radiologist for urgent scan.
Tell them that its done in the morning.
"ok"...
End of day...
"so what did you think of the scan"
"Oh, we haven't looked at it yet. Will review it tomorrow."
(and it often ended up they didn't look at it till like 2 days later)
WHAT THE HELL....then why make it urgent!?! i begged it to be this morning when i could have done nothing and it would be done that afternoon anyway?!?!
...........................................................................................................................
So what is bothering me?
Its the human interaction.
i enjoyed medicine cos i knew what i was doing. I knew what needed to be done. I knew where to look for help. I knew the pple there. I could walk from ward to ward and see familiar faces. My superiors were nice and approachable.
This job. Superiors are not interested in what you have to say or wat happened. They don't care. Too busy for you. During the rounds they talk within themselves. They expect you to just know things. Think 10 steps ahead and figure it out without them telling you, when they could have just told you since they knew what is happening already. Things happen so fast i don't understand why the hell it happens. Jobs thrown at us - ones that we find ridiculous. Or not getting enough information abt something you are supposed to do and then you are expected to do a good job. Or reviewing something and forming my own plan and having my plan thrown out of the window with no good explanation. Argh.
And at the same time i'm expected to show interest and be keen and blah...
So here lies my dissatisfaction.
Sidenote
I hate arrogant blonde girls who think everyone else is useless. Argh.
I forget to put patient X on the radiology list.
I was in theatre all day and thought my offsider would handle everything. She was aware of the Xray meeting list. But she forgot too.
i feel responsible.
I feel irritated. I hardly forgot things like this in my previous run.
I feel guilty. Like a schoolboy caught without his textbook at science class.
I feel angry. That my offsider forgot abt it since she was supposed to be in charge of the wards.
I had time in btwn surgery to sort this out. I even managed to catch some lunch too.
This situation annoys me. Working with other pple - it means that i have to depend on them to a certain amount. To do things. And them on me too. I've been used to working alone i guess. Working alone means that i can organise what i do and do things my way. And i know what i'm up to and won't get confused.
Working with others mean that i have to check up on what they are up to. Cos. When things are not done, i'm still responsible for them when asked. Argh.
Communication.
1.
Patient came to ward from whangarei. Who? what? apparently my reg has accepted. When? oh yesterday? he never told me! ...
2.
"Oh, Mr X needs 2 units of blood postop. Go organise..."
so i rushed upstairs to recovery area. Talked to the nurse. checked the computer. Hb 111. Why still need transfuse? Nurse says my regs just came and said not to transfuse. What?! Called them.
"Oh yea, we've decided not to transfuse..."
Thanks for telling me!?!?!
3.
"Mr X needs to be admitted"
"what? who? from where?"
"he came from clinic"
"why?!?!?"
"no idea".
repeat 3X same afternoon.
This is 3pm in the afternoon...
some warning could have been good???
4.
"Go organise MRA for Mr X"
"sure"
walks away to radiology.
Got there, waited in line to be spit on by radiologist.
cellphone rings.
"Mr X has blah and we don't want a MRA anymore. Come back to ward."
"oh ok..."
Walks back to ward thinking...wat a waste of time.
Got back to the ward...
"We just spoke to the boss and he wants the MRA"
what the fuck.........
5.
"Go organise a venogram for Ms X. Tell them she came in with blah, and she has blah, and she will need a venogram, as discussed at conference."
"ok...."
Walked to radiology. Got grilled cos they want to do USS first instead of venogram. Got pissed on cos they want to know what we intend to do with the results, e.g. are we going need intervention radiology.
Call back the reg. So apparently they are gona do surgery. OH. now you tell me. And make it out like its my fault that i don't know, and that i can't explain it well to the radiologists.
What the fuck? I haven't even seen the patient. Never even saw their notes. I'm supposed to know this!?
6.
"Go get investigation X urgently. I want it done this morning"
"sure..."
pleading with radiologist for urgent scan.
Tell them that its done in the morning.
"ok"...
End of day...
"so what did you think of the scan"
"Oh, we haven't looked at it yet. Will review it tomorrow."
(and it often ended up they didn't look at it till like 2 days later)
WHAT THE HELL....then why make it urgent!?! i begged it to be this morning when i could have done nothing and it would be done that afternoon anyway?!?!
...........................................................................................................................
So what is bothering me?
Its the human interaction.
i enjoyed medicine cos i knew what i was doing. I knew what needed to be done. I knew where to look for help. I knew the pple there. I could walk from ward to ward and see familiar faces. My superiors were nice and approachable.
This job. Superiors are not interested in what you have to say or wat happened. They don't care. Too busy for you. During the rounds they talk within themselves. They expect you to just know things. Think 10 steps ahead and figure it out without them telling you, when they could have just told you since they knew what is happening already. Things happen so fast i don't understand why the hell it happens. Jobs thrown at us - ones that we find ridiculous. Or not getting enough information abt something you are supposed to do and then you are expected to do a good job. Or reviewing something and forming my own plan and having my plan thrown out of the window with no good explanation. Argh.
And at the same time i'm expected to show interest and be keen and blah...
So here lies my dissatisfaction.
Sidenote
I hate arrogant blonde girls who think everyone else is useless. Argh.
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