The thirst to type
I can't believe it's almost 6 years since I last posted something on this blog. Surprised even that it is still active and working.
So many things have changed in the last 6 years and for some reason, I now feel the urge to type. Just to type and get something out there. To create something again.
Let's see. In 2014, I just started as a Fellow, and since then, I've finished my training, finished my thesis, ventured on an overseas fellowship, and now returned home. I've also been lucky enough to fall in love and meet my partner, something that I've never thought would happen but now can't seem to imagine not happening. You know what I mean?
I think we used to send emails around to friends, updating them on our lives. Now it seems this has been taken over by instant messaging and cellphones and I no longer get the satisfaction to type.
Now I satisfy this typing thirst by writing clinic letters, which is sometimes cathartic but it only serves to encourage me to become more of a workaholic, instead of finding ways to be more efficient e.g. dictating.
But this thirst, I don't know what it is. It started from when I watched this "intern" movie with Anne Hathaway as the CEO, and it showed her constantly typing and working on her computer, and somehow it makes me want to do that. Be typing. Be creating something.
I also remember another movie I watched, Julie and Julia, where Julie starts a blog to document her experience in cooking everything in Julia's cookbook in 365 days. I recall admiring the scenes where she feverishly types into the computer, blogging about her cooking experience, publishing it, getting responses. It feels so creative, so productive.
I read a couple of books, for example, one about therapy, and I admire the creativity involved in writing a story. I feel almost jealous when I read newspaper articles - I imagine the journalists typing away and creating a document, and the pride they must feel once an article is created, how pretty it looks, how well it reads.
I know that reality is often much different. I suppose I could be on the receiving end of a clinic letter admiring the written words and the composed letter and how pretty it looks (not that mine are that pretty - but how about when I am writing these letters? I am always in a rush, trying to do them as fast as I can so I can go off to do other things and focus on other tasks. I try and "enjoy" it as much as I can but reality is no one is paying me to write these letters and they take up so much time.
I know the reality is that I should be writing more research papers and focus my energy into creating them. And I also know that the reality of writing research papers and research grants are more along the lines of slogging i.e. slow typing, constantly editing/deleting, staring at the screen, mindblanks, procrastinating.
I think what I want to experience again is that "flow" that one achieves when their mind is concentrated, where the story/article/idea just flows out of their brain onto paper. Where everything just comes together. I want to experience productivity, being able to see words on a page, page published on a website, to see idea transformed into action.
Maybe this is something I need to explore further? What is flow? How do I achieve flow? How do I productively quench my thirst to type?
I think back to the story I wrote back in 2010. I only just remembered it a couple of days ago. Maybe there's something inside that is worming it's way out?
For now I need to go make dinner but I am sure there's more to come. I want to type type type type type.
So many things have changed in the last 6 years and for some reason, I now feel the urge to type. Just to type and get something out there. To create something again.
Let's see. In 2014, I just started as a Fellow, and since then, I've finished my training, finished my thesis, ventured on an overseas fellowship, and now returned home. I've also been lucky enough to fall in love and meet my partner, something that I've never thought would happen but now can't seem to imagine not happening. You know what I mean?
I think we used to send emails around to friends, updating them on our lives. Now it seems this has been taken over by instant messaging and cellphones and I no longer get the satisfaction to type.
Now I satisfy this typing thirst by writing clinic letters, which is sometimes cathartic but it only serves to encourage me to become more of a workaholic, instead of finding ways to be more efficient e.g. dictating.
But this thirst, I don't know what it is. It started from when I watched this "intern" movie with Anne Hathaway as the CEO, and it showed her constantly typing and working on her computer, and somehow it makes me want to do that. Be typing. Be creating something.
I also remember another movie I watched, Julie and Julia, where Julie starts a blog to document her experience in cooking everything in Julia's cookbook in 365 days. I recall admiring the scenes where she feverishly types into the computer, blogging about her cooking experience, publishing it, getting responses. It feels so creative, so productive.
I read a couple of books, for example, one about therapy, and I admire the creativity involved in writing a story. I feel almost jealous when I read newspaper articles - I imagine the journalists typing away and creating a document, and the pride they must feel once an article is created, how pretty it looks, how well it reads.
I know that reality is often much different. I suppose I could be on the receiving end of a clinic letter admiring the written words and the composed letter and how pretty it looks (not that mine are that pretty - but how about when I am writing these letters? I am always in a rush, trying to do them as fast as I can so I can go off to do other things and focus on other tasks. I try and "enjoy" it as much as I can but reality is no one is paying me to write these letters and they take up so much time.
I know the reality is that I should be writing more research papers and focus my energy into creating them. And I also know that the reality of writing research papers and research grants are more along the lines of slogging i.e. slow typing, constantly editing/deleting, staring at the screen, mindblanks, procrastinating.
I think what I want to experience again is that "flow" that one achieves when their mind is concentrated, where the story/article/idea just flows out of their brain onto paper. Where everything just comes together. I want to experience productivity, being able to see words on a page, page published on a website, to see idea transformed into action.
Maybe this is something I need to explore further? What is flow? How do I achieve flow? How do I productively quench my thirst to type?
I think back to the story I wrote back in 2010. I only just remembered it a couple of days ago. Maybe there's something inside that is worming it's way out?
For now I need to go make dinner but I am sure there's more to come. I want to type type type type type.
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