Out of Place
When I see children, sometimes, i can't help but envy them.
Yea, i know - that's such an elderly thing to do.
They have so much potential, they have so much more ability to learn, to grow......
They have bright futures, ahead of them, waiting for them.
Children are not out of place - they belong to a school, full of kids, other children, all playing together, running around.
Sometimes, just sometimes, i feel out of place. In this world.
Yea, I have complained about this numerous times.
Other times while i'm not complaining i accept who i am made of and make do with what there is in front of me.
Other times, i point my finger and blame.
I blame the circumstances in which i was brought up -
I blame that i wasn't brought up in the place i'm living now - i never had much chances, as a child to do outdoor activities, learn gardening and skills e.g. painting, repairing, no exposure to activities such as surfing, mountain climbing, skiing, snowboarding...
Nothing.
All I had was study and music.
And now its hard to find others with the same interests, others to do things with.
Its hard to connect with others, to have shared experiences, to fit in.
And i blame, blame, blame
I blame my parents, who probably never think that such activities are necessary in life.
I blame the places i lived in, since not many pple are into those stuff there.
I blame myself, for not meeting enough pple - for being such a push-over, for being so unmotivated through life
For being scared to try it out, for not wanting to look bad, for not wanting to be crap at anything, for the fear of being laughed at, jeered at, sneered at
If I have to choose one quality in a person that i hate, the "i'm cooler than you" "you'r such a loser" "i'm better than you" quality, is one of the top contenders.
Its all about people trying to feel good about themselves by putting others down.
One of the ultimate forms of selfishness
Yea, i know - that's such an elderly thing to do.
They have so much potential, they have so much more ability to learn, to grow......
They have bright futures, ahead of them, waiting for them.
Children are not out of place - they belong to a school, full of kids, other children, all playing together, running around.
Sometimes, just sometimes, i feel out of place. In this world.
Yea, I have complained about this numerous times.
Other times while i'm not complaining i accept who i am made of and make do with what there is in front of me.
Other times, i point my finger and blame.
I blame the circumstances in which i was brought up -
I blame that i wasn't brought up in the place i'm living now - i never had much chances, as a child to do outdoor activities, learn gardening and skills e.g. painting, repairing, no exposure to activities such as surfing, mountain climbing, skiing, snowboarding...
Nothing.
All I had was study and music.
And now its hard to find others with the same interests, others to do things with.
Its hard to connect with others, to have shared experiences, to fit in.
And i blame, blame, blame
I blame my parents, who probably never think that such activities are necessary in life.
I blame the places i lived in, since not many pple are into those stuff there.
I blame myself, for not meeting enough pple - for being such a push-over, for being so unmotivated through life
For being scared to try it out, for not wanting to look bad, for not wanting to be crap at anything, for the fear of being laughed at, jeered at, sneered at
If I have to choose one quality in a person that i hate, the "i'm cooler than you" "you'r such a loser" "i'm better than you" quality, is one of the top contenders.
Its all about people trying to feel good about themselves by putting others down.
One of the ultimate forms of selfishness
Hiya Moomoo :)
ReplyDeleteSorry I haven't left a comment here in so long :'( So much happening to u huh?
Yeah... flatting is a big shock to the nerves... but there are some positives to it too... stick at it... you'll find them soon enough :)
Personally I enjoy having the company when you are lonely... I enjoy the late night conversations with flatties over a hot mug of milo... and I really like the feeling of coming home after a shit day and having somebody to talk about it with...
Everyone's experiences are different... and I agree... there's no place like home... but in the bad and chaotic... there's usually some good :)
Plus... it gives you a chance to let your imagination run wild with cooking creative and innovative dishes ;)
As mean as it sounds, I'm glad that sometimes you feel inadequate and out of place... how empty would life be if it were all good? How can you know and appreciate what true happiness is if you don't experience sorrow and hardship? How can you know you have found your place and found yourself if you have never been lost or an outcast?
And besides... what kind of parent would you make if you've never experienced what a hard life is... how would you ever be able to give them comfort... how could you ever guide them when you yourself don't know where you're going??
Anyway... I think this is a bit long... don't want to put you to sleep :P But I thought seeing I haven't written in so long that I'd be allowed a mini essay to make up for lost time :P
Miss ya...
Hope I get to see you again soon :)