New Road...
So today i decided to deviate from my usual joggin path, go thru the little park which i've seen thousands of times but never ventured into. So ran thru there, got out to the main street again. Saw this guy running behind me. My usual competitive mind decides to see if i can outrun him, so i tried to dash on ahead. Well, not too fast in case i couldn't keep it up, since i duno if he's taking the same path as me. And since it was uphill.
Its funny how when you become "competitive" the adrenalin takes over me and i dun feel lead-legged and tired anymore, suddenly feel like running is natural to me...
Anyhows, everytime i turned ard to check if there's cars before i cross the road, he edges up bit by bit, and eventually when i slowed down a little and went to the side to let him pass, he caught up to me and said "how you doing" to me, initiating a conversation. . I told him that if he wanted to overtake me its ok, but he said that he was nearing his run and decided that the pace i was going was ok for him. So I asked him wat way is he going. He was gona go straight ahead, and i said i was going left - and he decided that he'll join me for a while.
So he asked if i was a student, and started guessing what i'm doing. First shot was engine. Haha, nice try tho, asian guy = engineer. Then accounting. Man all the asian areas eh. Then medicine. Which, i guess, is pretty common for asians too. Funny tho, turned out that he's also in med, but a year ahead of me. Never seen him ard b4, and me neither to him!! So we chatted abt what run i'm doing now, and while dodging the scrap things blocking the pedestrian roads...chatted for a little while. And finally he turned his own path and asked for my email (he offered to send me the cheat notes for 5th yr, which i suspect i already have), not before he offered to shake my hand goodbye again.
Its funny, i was never a runner-talker, but it was relatively easy to run and chat with him.
So why am i mentioning this?
Personality like that, inspires me.
1. Initiating conversation, not afraid of other human contact like I am. I intepret that as genuinely having interest in talking to other pple. you know how you hear the phrase that doctors have to be a people-person? Someone who's really interested in others and like human interactions? Sometimes i wish i wasn't so seclusive and introverted. I guess I also lack the self confidence to initiate conversations like that.
2. The attitude. No matter what his intentions and real thots are, he's also to project a friendly, warm, encouraging attitude which opens up a person. Makes you feel that you can say anything and they'll understand. I've seen this with many other students and doctors before, you can call it professional, but i guess one definitely has to have that innate ability, the caring without being patronising attitude to pull it off. And i really admire that. The desire to help others even if they didnt' ask for help. Like he apologised for not being able to help me with exam preparation at the end of the yr cos he's away on elective (i know, we only just met, but its kinda med sch tradition to help each other out - we don't have to - but its a nice thing to do). I'm the type that gets bogged down wif my own worries and anxiety to think abt even helping others!!
Another example, we met this other runner and they greeted each other. Apparently, they met in st andrew's rd, which is also where I happened to see that guy like...5min before. Cos we were on different sides of the road, we didnt' say hi, but i think, even if we were to be on the same side, i woudln't have said hi anyway. But this TI here said hi to that other guy like its the most natural thing to do. I know, being friendly doesn't hurt does it? What's the worst, the other person doesnt' be friendly back? It doesn't hurt to initiate. Me? I lack that self confidence to initiate conversations - i worry tat ppl wont' talk to me cos i look dumb, i worry abt wat to say, i worry abt what i shudn't say, i worry abt how i look to others, i worry abt what others think abt my intentions. I try to make myself better by thinking that its not cos i'm not friendly - cos i'm passively friendly, as in - you friendly to me, i friendly back. But being passive is not the only way life works, is it?
3. The actions. Hand shake to introduce himself, hand shake before leaving. So why didn't I think of shaking hands as I say bye? Its a professional and yet friendly things to do. Makes the other person feels good too. To be able to act like the way i want to ask wifout feeling self conscious. I mean - if i examine my attitude and actions from the outside, I'll probably judge myself as a cold, unfriendly person who's proud and unfriendly. And that's not the image i want, nor is it the way i feel. I guess what my fren has been saying abt her friend correlates with me too - its not that i don't wana make friends, its just that i'm too concerned with embarrasing myself or doing the wrong things that i shut off myself, and become seemingly cold and bitchy to others. While I give myself excuses that "its ok, i'm not being bitchy and cold, i'm not really like that, i'm just shy"......its not ok to others. Cos they are not in our minds, they don't know why we are acting like that, and to them, hows that different from being cold and bitchy?
Its bad how i forgot that guy's name while we were running...haha...and i remember thinking "shit what's his name again" like 10 seconds after he told me...ah well...i'll find out...
And its annoying how after he left, the out-of-breath and i-wanna-stop feeling came rushing back, and i really have to push myself hard to get home. It was so effortless before.
And its inspiring meeting pple who can make you feel at ease from the first go. Who come across as someone who's genuinely interested in the other person, even if its the first time they meet. No matter what their actual intentions are.
To learn the ability to interact with other pple like that.
I need to
I desire to
I want to...
Its funny how when you become "competitive" the adrenalin takes over me and i dun feel lead-legged and tired anymore, suddenly feel like running is natural to me...
Anyhows, everytime i turned ard to check if there's cars before i cross the road, he edges up bit by bit, and eventually when i slowed down a little and went to the side to let him pass, he caught up to me and said "how you doing" to me, initiating a conversation. . I told him that if he wanted to overtake me its ok, but he said that he was nearing his run and decided that the pace i was going was ok for him. So I asked him wat way is he going. He was gona go straight ahead, and i said i was going left - and he decided that he'll join me for a while.
So he asked if i was a student, and started guessing what i'm doing. First shot was engine. Haha, nice try tho, asian guy = engineer. Then accounting. Man all the asian areas eh. Then medicine. Which, i guess, is pretty common for asians too. Funny tho, turned out that he's also in med, but a year ahead of me. Never seen him ard b4, and me neither to him!! So we chatted abt what run i'm doing now, and while dodging the scrap things blocking the pedestrian roads...chatted for a little while. And finally he turned his own path and asked for my email (he offered to send me the cheat notes for 5th yr, which i suspect i already have), not before he offered to shake my hand goodbye again.
Its funny, i was never a runner-talker, but it was relatively easy to run and chat with him.
So why am i mentioning this?
Personality like that, inspires me.
1. Initiating conversation, not afraid of other human contact like I am. I intepret that as genuinely having interest in talking to other pple. you know how you hear the phrase that doctors have to be a people-person? Someone who's really interested in others and like human interactions? Sometimes i wish i wasn't so seclusive and introverted. I guess I also lack the self confidence to initiate conversations like that.
2. The attitude. No matter what his intentions and real thots are, he's also to project a friendly, warm, encouraging attitude which opens up a person. Makes you feel that you can say anything and they'll understand. I've seen this with many other students and doctors before, you can call it professional, but i guess one definitely has to have that innate ability, the caring without being patronising attitude to pull it off. And i really admire that. The desire to help others even if they didnt' ask for help. Like he apologised for not being able to help me with exam preparation at the end of the yr cos he's away on elective (i know, we only just met, but its kinda med sch tradition to help each other out - we don't have to - but its a nice thing to do). I'm the type that gets bogged down wif my own worries and anxiety to think abt even helping others!!
Another example, we met this other runner and they greeted each other. Apparently, they met in st andrew's rd, which is also where I happened to see that guy like...5min before. Cos we were on different sides of the road, we didnt' say hi, but i think, even if we were to be on the same side, i woudln't have said hi anyway. But this TI here said hi to that other guy like its the most natural thing to do. I know, being friendly doesn't hurt does it? What's the worst, the other person doesnt' be friendly back? It doesn't hurt to initiate. Me? I lack that self confidence to initiate conversations - i worry tat ppl wont' talk to me cos i look dumb, i worry abt wat to say, i worry abt what i shudn't say, i worry abt how i look to others, i worry abt what others think abt my intentions. I try to make myself better by thinking that its not cos i'm not friendly - cos i'm passively friendly, as in - you friendly to me, i friendly back. But being passive is not the only way life works, is it?
3. The actions. Hand shake to introduce himself, hand shake before leaving. So why didn't I think of shaking hands as I say bye? Its a professional and yet friendly things to do. Makes the other person feels good too. To be able to act like the way i want to ask wifout feeling self conscious. I mean - if i examine my attitude and actions from the outside, I'll probably judge myself as a cold, unfriendly person who's proud and unfriendly. And that's not the image i want, nor is it the way i feel. I guess what my fren has been saying abt her friend correlates with me too - its not that i don't wana make friends, its just that i'm too concerned with embarrasing myself or doing the wrong things that i shut off myself, and become seemingly cold and bitchy to others. While I give myself excuses that "its ok, i'm not being bitchy and cold, i'm not really like that, i'm just shy"......its not ok to others. Cos they are not in our minds, they don't know why we are acting like that, and to them, hows that different from being cold and bitchy?
Its bad how i forgot that guy's name while we were running...haha...and i remember thinking "shit what's his name again" like 10 seconds after he told me...ah well...i'll find out...
And its annoying how after he left, the out-of-breath and i-wanna-stop feeling came rushing back, and i really have to push myself hard to get home. It was so effortless before.
And its inspiring meeting pple who can make you feel at ease from the first go. Who come across as someone who's genuinely interested in the other person, even if its the first time they meet. No matter what their actual intentions are.
To learn the ability to interact with other pple like that.
I need to
I desire to
I want to...
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