Over

So here goes the academic year of 2004.
Just came back from the class party. Didn't intend to go today, but ending up going anyway, meeting a few unexpected pple there, and it was all cool. Somehow this time i think a few drinks did manage to make a difference, altho it was quite expensive! Probably cos i was treating a few of my frens to some drinks too...but still!! hehe. Now that i know how much i shud drink to get to a certain level i know how to achieve it nxt time, oh yea!! =P but it certainly is an expensive behaviour to maintain - i would really absolutely hate being an alcoholic of any sort!

It was good catching up wif pple from our class again. At least today I don't get reminded that I don't fit in wif the main popular group or watever, but still - it was nice because I know some pple there and I don't have to think about things like this. I know i CAN think abt it if i want to - but if i dont' bother it doesn't bother me. A fren of mine doesn't seem to enjoy the night quite as much tho - which is a bit sad. I mean if i break down the night what did i feel good abt? i duno - i'll probably start feeling stupid abt the stuff i did. But the high was there and it was good. It was a nice stress-reliefing session.

Just finding one person - i'm not asking a lot - just one person, who enjoys the things i enjoy and does things together with me - would be nice sometimes. Instead of me trying to find a little bit of everything in all these different pple that i like to associate myself with. Someone to connect with totally. Someone to be there for me when I want to be stupid. Someone who would read this and just laugh at me for being stupid, not tell me to remove things from here or tell me that i should be embarrassed abt wat i'm saying. Someone that judges me, but in a nice way and only to let me know their point of view. Someone i feel comfortable to hang out with anytime i want. Like for study. Someone to make me study, someone to push me, remind me why i'm doing what i'm doing.

Maybe that someone isn't meant to exist? I'll hav to make do with that little someone in everyone...?

Or maybe that someone is just someone that i have to find within myself.

You know what - i don't care that this board is all about me. Why can't this all be abt me? It is MY board. I will fill it with jokes if i have any to spare. I will fill it with MY thoughts, whatever they are. And I want the pple who despises what I say or think to get out of here because if you don't get why i'm doing this you shudn't be here anyway. This is all about me.

But that's not to say i don't appreciate those kind souls that left messages on the tag board for encouragment or just to laugh at me. I really appreciate that - especially when i get home from a long day - its "fulfilling" to see that someone has read even a bit of it and left a message. You know who you are. And that person that leaves me msg in the comments section - thank you = ) As usual you are the only one that does that anyway!!

So there my thanking for the year has started. When i'm more conscious next time, or maybe after a shower, i will start recounting the good times, whatever little i have, that happened this year. And of cus i havn't published what happened on my Rural gp trip in raetihi and my anaesthetic trip in waikato yet. The pics are waiting in the comptuer -i'll just hav to post it up and stuff.

And i'll just have to say - i'm not a cool person. I realise that i can never be - i'll never fit in, my brain doesn't work that way.

But i'll work hard so pple will see and accept me as who I am.

shit i need to piss so much rite now....bye~~~~ *run to toilet