Lazy day
Spent the whole of today watching HunterXHunter (anime=jap cartoon) and sleeping. FEel bad today because mum is not feeling well. Probably cos she didn't sleep well last nite. Probably cos I slept late and she couldn't sleep well if i'm still awake, no matter what i was doing.
Finished this long story I was reading on the net. It was one of the rare stories that I NEARLY cried. Where you can feel your eye dampening and the sniff is coming up but it stopped. So that was good. But it was a very very intense story that covered many topics and hit a nerve at times.
There was this guy who grew up in a small town, has a drunken father who abused the family and was away most of the time. His mum runs a cafe and he has to help out everyday before and after school. He has no time with friends or to develop any friendship, it is hard enough trying to make money to survive as it is. He has no time to study so his grades are not good enough for him to go to college either. Turned out his brother has leukaemia as well. Well as the story goes his brother died of leukaemia. He wants to get out of that place. He wants to lead a normal life. He wants to have friends and get out of the hardwork of waking up at 5am everyday and work his arse off. But he sees no future. Especially after his brother died of leukaemia. He became depressed for a while, but got better when he graduated from high school. Then he died in an accident. Turned out that he left a letter in the car to his best friend that he actually planned it to kill himself so he can get out of that life. But he did not want to let his mum suffer with the fact that he took his own life. He wanted a way out. He wanted to join his brother in heaven.
(this is a real sad part of the story but not the part that made me sniff in case u r wondering)
I have no idea if this story is real, fiction, based on reality or what. But it sounded believable. Its one of these things that made me appreciated lying on my mum's bed (she's not home and its more comfortable than my bed) listening to the pouring rain outside. It made me feel lucky that I'm able to survive in this world with the blubber around my middle, and not have to starve or work my arse off everyday.
Its amazing how you can get emotional by yourself. Especially when those emotions are probably not even based on reality.
So why did I bother telling the above story? Because I was feeling like that last nite. I feel trapped in my own house. I feel that I want to get out there and live life like other people - able to go out whenever they want, and do whatever they want. Live life like one of those typical college student, able to hang out with friends all the time. Not have to conform to someone else's schedule.
But its ok now - i know i'm not trapped. I'm here because i want to.
My dreams are gonna have to wait.
Its always about doing something you won't regret in the future, isn't it?
Finished this long story I was reading on the net. It was one of the rare stories that I NEARLY cried. Where you can feel your eye dampening and the sniff is coming up but it stopped. So that was good. But it was a very very intense story that covered many topics and hit a nerve at times.
There was this guy who grew up in a small town, has a drunken father who abused the family and was away most of the time. His mum runs a cafe and he has to help out everyday before and after school. He has no time with friends or to develop any friendship, it is hard enough trying to make money to survive as it is. He has no time to study so his grades are not good enough for him to go to college either. Turned out his brother has leukaemia as well. Well as the story goes his brother died of leukaemia. He wants to get out of that place. He wants to lead a normal life. He wants to have friends and get out of the hardwork of waking up at 5am everyday and work his arse off. But he sees no future. Especially after his brother died of leukaemia. He became depressed for a while, but got better when he graduated from high school. Then he died in an accident. Turned out that he left a letter in the car to his best friend that he actually planned it to kill himself so he can get out of that life. But he did not want to let his mum suffer with the fact that he took his own life. He wanted a way out. He wanted to join his brother in heaven.
(this is a real sad part of the story but not the part that made me sniff in case u r wondering)
I have no idea if this story is real, fiction, based on reality or what. But it sounded believable. Its one of these things that made me appreciated lying on my mum's bed (she's not home and its more comfortable than my bed) listening to the pouring rain outside. It made me feel lucky that I'm able to survive in this world with the blubber around my middle, and not have to starve or work my arse off everyday.
Its amazing how you can get emotional by yourself. Especially when those emotions are probably not even based on reality.
So why did I bother telling the above story? Because I was feeling like that last nite. I feel trapped in my own house. I feel that I want to get out there and live life like other people - able to go out whenever they want, and do whatever they want. Live life like one of those typical college student, able to hang out with friends all the time. Not have to conform to someone else's schedule.
But its ok now - i know i'm not trapped. I'm here because i want to.
My dreams are gonna have to wait.
Its always about doing something you won't regret in the future, isn't it?
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